A Prisoner’s Co@kb@@k' The Iron Ghetto Gourmet prigpnn m . WOTK & SPECIAL NOTE! Effoctive June of 2003 B o e Piease help us spread the word. Since our founding in 2001 we have provided thousands of books to prisoners all around the country. Donations of cash, stamps, or new/gently used paperbacks are desperately needed. Please send cash or stamp donations to the address above with a note stating the donation is for Books 4 Prisoners, or contact us to set up a drop off time for your book donations. DUE TO MOST PRISONS MAIL RESTRICTIONS WE DO NOT ACCEPT HARDBACK BOOK DONATIONS. A PRISONER'S COOKBOOK: Recipes From Inside The Big House Compiled By: The Iron Ghetto Gourmet & Prisoner’s Cookbook: Recipes From Inside The Big House By: The Iron Ghetto Gourmet Anti-Copyright Tilustrated by Kevin Zettner Published by: BLUEHORN PUBLISHING P.O. Box 2364 Humble, TX 77347 IMPORTANT NOTICE To the best of our knowledge, all of the informa- tion cited in the recipes is true and complete. There are no guarantees fram the author or publisher on the outcome of any of the reconmendations suggested here. Further, all readers on special diets are advised to consult with a qualified doctor or healthprofessional about. the consumption of any ingredient or combination of ingredients that may be suspect to their health. In addition, none of the recipes here have nutritional values listed nor have these been developed for a par ticular therapeutic or remedial diet. It is suggested to pre-read all parts of any recipe for the greatest possibility of success. Any and all liability incurred in the preparation or consumption regarding the useof the recipes contained herein is disavowed by the author and publisher. These recipes are intended for nothing other than experiments for eating enjoyment. TABLE OF CONTENTS TIntroduction Breakfast. Snacks & Treats.... Dead Horse Hamburgers. Gravies, Sauces & Dips. Tuna & Mackerel. . Kitty Kat Casserole.. Officer's Classification. Main Meals.. . . Gunshots At Coffield.. Strange & Unusual Recipes. Glossary of Prison Slang.... INTRODUCTION Welcome to the wonderful world of convict cooking! I want to thank everyone who contributed recipes, and other material for this book. Inside these pages you will find recipes from pri- soners all over the United States. Some of these rec- ipes are very simple to make, requiring nothing more than a few can goods and dried soups from your commi- ssary and a stinger or a hot-pot to recipes that need items that have to be "obtained® from the prison kit- chen, access to a hotplate and/or oven. Most of these recipes are easily fixed in your cell, or even on the run from the police! There are recipes in here that can satisfy even the sweetest of sweet-tooths. How about some Freaky Fudge Cheesecake Pie, several great tasting milk shakes, or how does same Chocolate Peanut Butter Pudding sound? Want some meaty spreads for you and your partners to sink your teeth into, but don't have alot of money to spend at the store? Try some Of these mouth water- ing spreads for which the ingredients are easily found on the cellblock or outside on the yard: Rodent Stew, Stewed Rodent or even some Puerto Rican Pigeon Soup. Maybe those are a little too strange for your tastes, in that case try some of these: Jailcell Spaghetti Spicy V8 Jack Mack, or even some Slacker Pizza. And just to keep you laughing vhile you're waiting for your spread to cook, I'Ve also included someother stuff, there are some cartoons, jokes, funny stories, as well as a dictionary of convict prison-slang, (for you inmates!) Several people have sent in instructions on how to put together a stinger, one burner stove, and even an oven in your cell. But because prison mailrooms are notorious for denying anything that they consider to e a "threat to the security of the institution™ I've had to leave that information out so that everyone would be able to get their book. Besides, if you're a real convict you can figure out all of that stuff for yourself, and if you can't, then I suggest thatyougo and hang-out with the inmates! Anyway, whether you're an inmate or convict I hope that you like this book and will tell others about it 1f you have any suggestions on how to improve itor if you have recipes or other material to submit for the next edition, send it to the address that islisted on the copyright page. Thanks everyone. EAT AND ENJOY! The Iron Ghetto Gourmet Down In Texas You Wiri-rss ani Gowss K TRYING Te Fegp ME 7iess i MoRrnEss Caomtas | T st o 7y GOk TAKE Tl SHwo soks \ikr 7 T Exer e 5 FEE) A FALY OF 2520 aw BREAKFAST ON THE RUN 3 Tosp of dry milk 1 Tbsp of butter/oleo 1 Cup of potato flakes 1 Cup of hot water % Cup Of cheese cut into Garlic and chili powder swall pieces salt & pepper to taste Add milk and butter into hot vater. Stir in potato flakes and cheese until just moist. Wait 2 minutes and add any spices that you like. BREAKFAST QUESADILA 1 Pkg of tortillas 1 Brick of cheese 1 Bell pepper sliced thin 1 Cup of picante sauce 1 Can of roast beef Heat a pie pan on your buttcan stove. Heat theroast beef in a hotpot or boiling water. Pull the roast beef apart until it's stringy looking. Place a tortilla on heated pie pan. Place cheese and roast beef on the tor tilla. Add the sliced bell (or jalapeno) pepper. Asthe cheese melts pour on the salsa. Fold tortilla in half. Pull it out of the pan, and eat it immediately while telling your partners that the next on is their!! BREAKFAST PORRIDGE WITH A TWIST 1 cup of oats 2 Cups of vater % Cup of dry milk % Cup of raisins % Cup of chopped fruit % Cup of chopped nuts % Tsp of cinnamon Sugar to taste Glob of butter Dash of salt Bring oatmeal, dry milk, fruit, salt, and water to a boil. Simmer, stirring often until porridge is the desired consistency. Top with butter, sugar, cinnamon, and nuts. Takes about 10 minutes once the water boils. Substitute % cup of oatmeal or % cup of Grapenuts or Shredded Wheat. It gives it a different taste and tex- ture. Linda Berry Merritt Island, FL 13 COFFEE CAN OMELETTE 3 Bggs % Cup of grated cheese % Cup of salsa % Cup of chopped ham Salt & pepper to taste Crack eggs into a bowl and whip until mixed. Add in the cheese, ham, salsa and seasonings. Pour themixture into a plastic bag that won't leak. Place bag in a hot pot, Coffee pot, or very hot vater and let cook 10-15 minutes. David Jenkins Rosharon, TX BREARFAST TACOS 1 Lg potato 1 Tbsp of butter 4 Bggs 1 1g onion chopped Bacon or sausage cut up Seasonings to taste Skin and slice potato. Melt butter in a frying pan. Add potato, meat, and onion. Fry and stir. Beat eggs pour over other ingredients. Cook in pan until theeggs reach the desired consistency. Add spices. Reith Tate Tone, CA THE SLACKER BREAKFAST 1 Bagel or rice/oat cake 1 Jar of peanut butter 1 Sm pkg of peanuts 1 Sm pkg of raisins Spread peanut butter on bagel or rice/oat cake. Top it with raisins or other dried fruit, peanuts or other toppings of your choice. There is no limit to what you can do with this. THE EYE OPENER SYRUP 2 Cups of ground coffee % Cup of sugar Boil coffee continwously. Add sugar a spoonful at a time and stir. Boil until almost a syrup. It thickens as it cools down. Pour over pancakes for the best damn syrup that tastes good and wakes you up! PRISON CELL MADE PANCAKE TOPPINGS QUICK & EASY TOPPINGS #1 Brown sugar #2 Jelly #3 Applesauce #4 Peanut butter #5 Combination of all/some of the above APPLE SYRUP of sugar % Cup of water Pkg of hot apple cider mix JELLY SYRUP % Cup of jelly (any kind) 3 Tbep of butter HONEY SYRUP 1 Cup of honey 1 Thep of vanilla 2 Tosp of water 2 Thep of hutter % Cup of coconut (if you can get it) Heat all ingredients to desired consistency. These instructions are for all three syrup recipes above. Dwayne Eddings St. Louis, M0 15 GOURMET COFFEE A LA PRISON CELL #1 1 Spoonful of coffee 1 Crushed mint-stick 1 Cherry Cool-off Add Cool-off and crushed mint-stick to your shot of very hot coffee. GOURMET COFFEE A LA PRISON CELL #2 1., onful of coffee 1 Crushed mint-stick 1 Can of Big Red or strawberry flavored soda Heat soda until it's very hot (mot boiling). Addin your coffee and mint stick. Mix well. Kevin Zettner Huntsville, TX STRAWBERRY MILK SHAKE % Cup of dry milk 1 Bottle of strawberry pre 1 Cup of very cold water serves or some real straw berries if you have any Mix dry milk and stravberry preserves or strawber- ries in a large cup with the cold vater. Use as much preserves or berries as needed. You can use other fruit or even a melted chocolate candy bar for a cho- colate milk shake. PRISON GROG 2 Parts hot cocoa mix 2 Parts dry milk 1 Part sugar Mini marshmallows Mix everything together. Measure about % cup into your cup (or to taste), and fill with boiling water, or very hot water. Stir well ORANGE DELIGHT 1 Tsp of orange drink mix 1 Tsp of dry milk 2 Tsp of instant vanilla pudding. Dump all of the ingredients into a 16-oz cup. Add cold vater and stir well. 19 SNOW SHAKE 2 Thep of egg powder % Cup of dry milk 1 Toep of sugar 1 Tsp of vanilla 1 Cup of water 3 Thep hot choc (opt) Mix all ingredients well and add snow until mixture is thick and creamy. Leave out the sugar and add 3tbsp of hot chocolate, instant pudding or cheesecake mix for a different taste. Jomn Klatz Jersey City, NI CHOCOLATE SHAKE 2 Cups of very cold water % Cup of dry milk 1 Env of instant chocolate pudding mix Don't use mich vater. Shake mix in a container with a tight 1id that won't leak for about 1 minute. If you can, place into a bowl with ice so that it can thicken as much as possible. Make it thicker and you canuseit Ronald Greenwood Pontiac, MI NO BAKE PIE 1 Cup of cookie crumbs % Cup of melted butter 1 Cup of instant pudding % Cup of dry milk 2 cups of vater o Mix melted butter and crumbs all together real well Press mixture into the bottom of a bowl. Mix your pud- ding in another bowl, or you can even shake it up in a bottle. Pour into pie crust and set on top of some ice if possible, so that it can chill for a few hours. FUDGE PROSTING 1% Cups of water 1 Cup of hot chocolate 4 Tosp of dry milk 2 Tosp of butter 1 Cup of vater Combine sugar, milk, water, and chocolate in a pan. Cook over medium heat stirring constantly untilmixture comes to a boil. Boil, stirring occasionally toprevent sticking until mixture thickens and becomes a syrup if dropped in cold vater. At this point, remove from heat and add butter then cool until lukevarm. Beat untilthe fudge thickens and quickly spread on cake. You canalso serve as fudge after it cools completely. Angle Westland Marlin, TX PEANUT ‘BUTTER CUPS 1 Cup of cookie crunbs 1 Cup of peanut butter % Lb of powdered sugar (crunchy is best) % Cup of butter 6 Hershey choc candy bars Melt butter and mix in peanut butter, sugar, crumbs Press into the bottom of a bowl. Melt choc candy bars, then pour them over crust. Chill on ice for an hour or S0 or until you're just to hungry to wait any longer. Cynthia Frist Chowchilla, CA 23 STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE PIE % Bag of vanilla wafers % Box of graham crackers 2 Bags of dry milk 4 Lemon Cool-offs 1 Can of vanilla Ensure 1 Cup of sugar 1 Stick of butter 1 Bottle of stravberry pre- serves Crush wafers and graham crackers and put intoabowl Melt butter and pour on wafer/crackers, mix very vell. Take mixture and mash &mold it into "pie crust shapes” in two large bowls. Set aside. In separate bowl mix the Ensure, sugar and Cool-offs. Mix well, then add in dry milk and again mix well. Hurry and pour mixture into the two pie crusts before it starts to harden. Pour on some strawberry preserves as the topping. Let stand for about 45 minutes. Eugene "Turp® Turpin Huntsville, TX FREAKY FUDGE 1 Bag of fudge cookies 1 Bag of vanilla vafers % Jar of peanut butter % Bottle of chocolate syrup 1 Sm env of hot chocolate 3 Chocolate candy bars 1 Sm env of catmeal Place peanut butter, choc syrup and candy bars into a large bowl and add 1 cup of boiling water. Stiruntil all melted, then pour crushed vanilla wafers, crushed cookies, hot choc and catmeal into a bowl. Mix together wvell. Spread out on a "cookie sheet" (big chip bag cut. open), and let sit for 6-8 hours. Fudge covered graham cookies are the best for this. Tina Phillips Rockville, IN PRISON CELL ICE CREAM Dry whole milk Stravberry jam Snow (£rom outside on the ground during winter) Stir milk, jam and snow together in any amount or proportions, to the desired flavor and consistency. Adams Catervood Ravlings, WY MICROWAVE ENERGY BARS 2 Cups of oats % Cup of brown syrup % Cup of melted butter % Cup of maple syrup Mix oats, sugar and butter in an 8x8 microwaveable pan. Stir in enough syrup to coat the oats well. Nuke it on high for 10 minutes, or until the syrup bubbling on top starts to brown. Cool, cut into squares and eat or wrap in plastic and save for later. Darla Hammond Plymouth, MI BANANA OAT ENERGY BARS % Cup of butter 2 Cups of mashed bananas 1 Cup packed brown sugar 4 Cups of quick cats 1 Bgg 1 Cup of raisins % Tsp of salt % Cup of chopped walnuts Mix butter and sugar until fluffy. Beat inegg, salt and bananas. Stir in remaining ingredients. Pour into a greased 9 x 13 pan. Bake at 380F for 1 hour or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Susan Hopkins JCI Monticello, FL BANANA SWEET TREAT 3 Fresh bananas 1 Jar of peanut butter 1 Jar of jelly 4 Flour tortillas 1 Bottle of choc syrup Slice bananas down the middle, then in half. Spread on the peanut butter and jelly. Place bananas on top Roll into a log and place in the bottom of bowl. Cover logs in chocolate syrup and eat. You can even top with butterfinger candy bar, M&Ms, peanuts etc. Serve with 2 cup of hot coffee or chocolate. This is a great break fast treat when the chowhall isn't worth going to. Try this vith a pint of your favorite ice cream. Yum-yum!! Larry Sheesley Mbion, PA 25 BUTTERFINGER FUDGE BROWNIE ICE CREAM & SYRUP 2 Fudge brownies 1 Pt of favorite ice cream 2 Butterfinger candy bars 1 Bottle of chocolate syrup Place brownies whole in a bowl, cover with your ice cream. Top with broken candy bars and plenty of syrup- You can also top with lots of other Stuff too. Thereis no limit to what you can use for toppings. GRANOLA PATTY 1 Jar of peanut butter 2 Sm boxes of raisin bran 2 Pkgs of maple syrup % Cup of water 10 Oatmeal cookies Put % jar of peanut butter on wax paper. Crush cook ies and cereal on top. Add syrup and water. Mixwellby hand. On another sheet of wax paper place square patt- ies. Wrap once, then place on top of your light for 2-3 hours. GRANOLA TWIST 1 Jar of peanut butter 1 Cup of raisins 1 Cup of crushed nuts 20 Pkgs of maple syrup 3 Cups of raw uncooked cats Mix oats and syrup together. DO NOT cook the oats first. Mix it dry with syrup, add in peanut butter. Mix well, then add fruit and nuts. Let sit 1 hour or until too hungry to wait any longer! . Hang Davg Coalinga, CA CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER PUDDING 2 1oz pkgs Of cocoa mix 4 Sugar pkgs 1 loz mon dairy creamer % Jar of peanut butter Mix cocoa, creamer and sugar into a small bowl. Add enough water to make it pasty. Mix well. Add thepeanut butter until you have pudding consistency as desired. Let it stand or place on window sill in cool weather. Mark Soliday Frackville, PA IN CELL PRISON CAKE #1 1 1g bag of cream cookies 1 Bottle of choc syrup 8 Fudge brownies 1 Tbsp of butter Separate creams from cookies. Take % of the cookies and crush into very small pieces, place on large sheet Of vax paper. Mix creams, butter and chocolate syrup 0 a creamy consistency, this is your icing. Pour small spread out to approx % inch thick. This is your cake base. Place four brownies on the base and then spread 2 layer of icing on top. Place the other four brownies on top of the others, then spread more icing on top. Sprinkle some of your favorite toppings such as some crushed peanuts, M&M's, etc. Finish topping with lots of chocolate syrup. Kevin Zettner Huntsville, TX IN CELL PRISON CAKE #2 2 Fudge brownies 1 Graham cracker 1 Jar of peanut butter 1 Bottle of choc syrup 2 Cream filled catmeal cookies Place graham cracker on a sheet of wax paper. Spread peanut butter on graham cracker. Place brownie on top ©Of peanut butter. Scrape cream filling from catmeal cookies, mix with peanut butter and syrup. Spread onto brownie. Top with other brownie and more "icing" . You can top with some of your favorite toppings, M&M's or peanuts, etc. Steven Bomber Huntsville, TX VANILLA WAFER BANANA PUDDING % Bag of vanilla wafers 2 Vanilla Ensure 4 Lemon Cool-offs 2 Env of dry milk 1 Can of fruit salad Mix everything together. Add more wafers if desired Pinkie Miles Eldorado, KS 27 TASTY ENERGY BARS 3 Cups of peanut butter 7 Cups of dry milk 1 Cup of brown sugar 2 Cups of granola Mix thoroughly and form into bars. Wrap each bar in foil or plastic vrap. You can substitute flavored oat- meal, catmeal cookies, or crushed up granola cookies. OATMEAL BRICKS 1 Cup of raw catmeal 1 Cup of brown sugar 1 Cup of peanuts 1 Cup of raisins 1 Env of hot choc mix Warm vater as needed Mix everything together real good and form intobars Wrap in foil or plastic. Both of these recipes make a good workout snack. Jeffrey Peterson El Paso, TX DESERT NO BAKE COOKIES 1 Cup of sugar % Cup of peanut butter % Stick of butter % Cup of milk % Tsp of vanilla % Cup of quick cats 1 Env of cocoa mix % Cup of nuts Mix sugar, butter, vanilla, cocoa, peanut butter and milk together in a pan. Stir often vhile bringing mixture to a quick boil. Boil and stir for 3 minutes. Remove from heat. Add oatmeal and nuts. Drop spoonfuls on vaxed paper and let stand avhile to cool andstiffen FRUIT NUT ROLLS 2 Cups of dried fruit 2 Cups of nuts Grind the fruit and nuts as good as you can. Mix it well. Roll into balls 1 inch to ly inches in diameter. Wrap each in foil. You can also heat these by placing them on top of your light for about an hour or so. Try these combinations: raisins/walnuts; dates/pecans; al- monds/apricots. Gene Fitzgerald Las Vegas, NV DANISH ROLL UP LOG 1 Cup of milk 2 Cups of sugar 1 Tosp of butter 2 Honey buns 1 Cup crushed van wafers 1 Cup of crushed nuts % Cup Hershey choc syrup 1 Thsp Of van extract (sub melted butterscotch) Cook milk, sugar, and butter over med-heat. Remove Add nuts and vanilla extract. Chop and shred honey buns into small bits and mix with vanilla wafers in a large bovl. Mix all ingredients together real well. Flatten it onto a 12x6 inch sheet of plastic, such as a large chip bag, and let it cool well. Spread a thin layer in swirls across the top. Start at one end and roll it up into a log. Slice disks off of it like a danish. Bugene “Turp" Turpin Huntsville, TX BRAN FLAKE PIE 10 Su baxes bran flakes 6 Pkgs of pancake syrup 1 Pkg of salted peanuts % Tsp of Cinnamon 1 Choc syrup (to taste) 1 Stick of butter Brpty boxes of bran flakes into large bowl. Mix pea nuts, cinnamon, syrup and chocolate syrup into bowl. Mix everything together real good. Pour mixture into a pie pan. Top with more choc syrup. Place pie pan above a heat source (cell light) for several hours to harden Eat some while still hot. Wrap and save the rest until later. SWEET TREAT 1 Pkg of cream cookies 2 Pkgs Of peanut M&M'S 3 Chocolate candy bars Separate the cookies fram the cream filling. Mixthe crean filling with the candy bars and M&M's. Add just enough boiling water to melt (don't use very much. Be careful!) Crush cookies to fine powler (or as close as possible). Drain off excess liquid from melted candy then mix everything together. Use excess liquidasit's needed. Keep it thick. This is a cross between brownie cake mix and fudge. 29 PRUIT PIE A LA MODE WITH SYRUP 1 Fruit pie 1 Bottle of choc syrup 1Pt of ice cream Toppings of your choice Place fruit pie in a plastic bag that won't leak. Place in hot vater (not boiling!). When the pie is hot place it in a bowl, then top it with ice cream, syrup, and other toppings of your choice. 1 Box of graham crackers 1 Bottle of choc syrup 1 Jar of peamit butter Spread peanut butter and chocolate syrup on agraham cracker. You can also top with other toppings as well, such as marshmallows. Place another grahamcracker on top to finish your “sandwich". This will work withsome vanilla wafers, too. Fevin Zettner Huntsville, TX BUCKEYES 1 Jar of peamut butter 5 Hershey choc candy bars Ereak up and melt candy bars. Scoop out Some peamut butter with your fingers and roll it into small balls. Fhen chocolate is melted, use a toothpick to dip Ealls into chocolate, leaving a small circle of peanut butter on top so that it looks like a Buckeye. GO BUCKEYES!!! Big Roy Simms Mansfield, OH SNOW CONES #1 Mix fruit drink crystals or apple cider mix into a syrup. Pour over a cup of snow. #2 Sprinkle fruit flavored gelatin over a cup of SNOW. #3 Mix a cup full Of snow with any of the syrups list- ed in this book. Psycho Mike Seattle, WA an POPCORN BALLS 2 Bags of plain popcorn 3 Pats of butter 2 Pkgs of hot cocoa mix 5 Tsp of water 1 Chocolate candy bar Mix cocoa, 2 pats of butter, water, and broken up candy var in a bowl. Heat until candy bar iscompletely melted. Pour mixture over popcorn while still in bags. Butter hands and mix well. Form into balls while still varm. Donna Campbell Monticello, FL CARAMEL CORN WITH PEANUTS 1 Bag of popcorn 2 Pkgs of syrup 1 Bag of peanuts 3 Pats of butter 2 Bags of Bit-O-Honey Mix Bit-O-Honey, syrup and butter. Heat S-10minutes Mix popcorn and peanuts. Put into plastic bag. Pourmix ture over popcorn and peanuts, then shake well mixing it completely. Spread out on wax paper and let it cool Kimberly Wells Pee Ve Valley, KY FUDGE FROSTING 1% Cups of sugar 1 Cup of hot chocolate 4 Tosp of dry milk 2 Thsp of butter 1 Cup of water Combine sugar, milk, water, and chocolate in a pan. Cook over medium heat stirring constantly untilmixture comes to a boil. Boil, stirring occasionally toprevent sticking until mixture thickens and becomes a syrup if dropped in cold water. At this point, remove from heat and add butter then cool until lukewarm. Beat untilthe fudge thickens and quickly spread on cake. Youcanalso serve as fudge after it cools completely. angie Westland Marlin, TX 31 DEAD HORSE HAMBURGERS During the sumer of '82, on the Ferguson unit of the Texas prison system, I was going to work one morn ing and as the field squad that I was assigned to started down this long sloping hill towards where the field trailers were at, we passed right by the horse barn. As we were walking past we could see that there was a dead horse just laying there, right in front of the barn. We went on down the hill and got our aggies (hoes) off of the tool wagon and started vorking right benind the barn where the sewage ponds are. We worked in that area all morning until we stopped for lunch. We duced up at the bottom of the hill and started up tovards the back gate. As we again passed by the barn we could see that the dead horse was gone. Because Of vhere the field squads were working ve could see both sides of the road that came past the back gate but not the back gate itself and nobody in any of the Squads sav a trailer come and get the horse. Everybody was laughing and joking about how the kitchen vas going to cook the horse for supper that night. We came back out and worked the second half and at one point the field Major told us to be sure and work up a good appetite. Being a young first timer Ididn't really think that they would actually serve meat from a dead horse, of vhich they probably had no idea what the horse had even died of. hall and was served hamburgers! In those days getting a hamburger was rare, something that only happened on special occasions such as holidays, and this day sure wasn't any kind of special occasion or holiday. ‘The horse burgers were pretty good, except for an unusual sour taste. Since then, I've eaten somereally strange food that has come out of a prison chowhall. And for all of you youngsters out there, here is some advice for you: Don't think about it, just eatit GOOD EATING! 33 A voman spent months trying to poison her ex-con hus- band. She didn't know that he was immune because he'd eaten in the prison chow-hall for so many years. COOK: The best things that I cook are meatloaf and a peach cobbler. CONVICT: Yeah? Well, vhich one is this? Our prison has been serving us so much dehydrated food lately, that when I went out into the rain the other day T gained 50 pounds! Big Bubba comes from a family of really big eaters. After each meal the officers have to do a special count.. There must be a religious cook here. Every meal tastes just like the last supper. Our cocks alvays serve us salwon. Salmon patties, sal non soup, salmon salad, salmon, salmon, SALMON! It is 5o bad that twice a year I have to fight the urge to go up stream and spawn. The cooking is really getting better around here. All the lumps are bite-sized. My mom's hash alvays made me nervous while eating it, I never knev what she put in it. The hash here makes me nervous too, that's because I KNOW what's in it! our cooks get all of their recipes from a magazine. It's called ROADKILL MONTHLY. OLD CON: The food here in this unit is really bad. NEW CON: Yeah? Just how bad is it? OLD CON: We ALWAYS pray before e eat it! When we have chicken on the menu, the cooks always serve it in a special vay. With a wing and a prayer! The bake shop isn't any better. Just the other day we found out that Betty Crocker has declared war against us! BASIC CREAM SAUCE Milk Thin Medium Thick (4 Tosp dry/1 cup water) 1 Cup lowp 1cup Flour 1Tbsp 2Thsp 3 Tosp Margarine 1Tbsp 2Tosp 3 Thsp Melt margarine in a pan over a low heat, add flour stirring constantly, to prevent burning, until mixture is as smooth as possible. Add milk slowly, stirring constantly to prevent burning. Keep stirring over alow heat until it is thick enough for what you need. This takes about 5 minutes. Take it Off the heat and add in salt and pepper to taste. Using this you can make dif- ferent types of sauces for all kinds of recipes. CHEESE SAUCE 1 Cup basic cream sauce 1 Cup of cheese chunks Make basic cream sauce first. Cut the cheese into small bits and add it at the end with the pan off the burner. CHEESE BURNS! Be careful. MUSTARD CHEESE SAUCE 1 Cup basic cream sauce & Cup of cheese chunks % TSp of garlic powder 1 Tbsp of mustard Dash of hot sauce to taste Use the above instructions for this recipe adding in the garlic, hot sauce and mustard first to the basic cream sauce. Add in the cheese at the end. BROWN GRAVY 1 Cup basic cream sauce % Cup finely chopped onions % Tsp of garlic powder 2 Tbsp soy sauce or tamari Add a beef or chicken bouillon cube or soup flavor- ing pkg instead of the soy for a “meat” option. Don't do both or it will be too salty. This sauce is perfect with a bunch of biscuits for breakfast. All ingredients can be had through the prison kitchen. Edward Barrow Lebanon, OH 37 PEANUT BUTTER GRAVY of vai % Cup smooth peanut butter of garlic 3 Thsp of dry milk % Thsp beef soupmix (1iq) 1 Dash of hot sauce Heat water until very hot. Remove from heat. Mix in all ingredients and mix really vell. Place the mixture back on heat and heat until very hot. Pour overnoodles This makes 1 serving BBQ SAUCE 2 Pints of ketchup % Cup of orange juice % Tbep of black pepper 1 Dash of hot sauce 1 Dash garlic powder (opt) 2 Tbsp dill pickle vinegar iy 2 /8 Cup of mugar Cup Cook all ingredients over med-heat for 1 hour. Let it cool well. Add to any spread for a better taste. SWEET & SOUR SAUCE Use syrup as sweet sauce Use grapefruit juice for the sour sauce ¥hen making a spread, keep sauces separate! Example with chicken, ham or tuna, cut into chunks and cook in swall amounts of syrup. Cook dry soup/noodles with its soup mix. Pour off water. Mix meat withnoodles leaving the meat in chunks and add small drops of syrup on top of meat. Pour small amounts of grapefruit juice intocup on the side to dip spoons of food into before eating. Eugene "Turp" Turpin Huntsville, TX BUTTERSCOTCH CANDY TOPPING 6 Butterscotch candies 2 Tbsp of syrup % Tosp of sugar Crush butterscotch into powder. Add sugar and syrup Mix well. Put into small bag or jar and heat in hotpot or very hot vater for 1-2 hours or until the mixtureis wvell melted. Remove from heat and let cool. Dip apples ete. into mixture and let harden. BEAN DIP 2 Cans of refried beans 2 Cans of chili no beans 1 Bottle of squeeze cheese 2 Pkgs jal peppers diced 2 Plastic bags that won't leak Brpty refried beans into one plastic bag and chili into the other one. Close both tight and heat ineither 2 hotpots or use stingers to heat up vater. Cook for 1 hour. Once everything is cooked, dump intoabig spread bowl. Stir in cheese and peppers. Be sure to mix every thing really good. Stephen Adkerson Amarillo, TX 20 - / B -l s 4 \JEFrREY ';lMER_,i SPICY V8 JACK MACK #1 1 Can of jack mack 1 Can of spicy V8 2 Spicy flavored dry soups 2 Jalapeno peppers diced Salt & pepper to taste Chili powder to taste Clean jack mack filets real good being sure to keep ‘them whole. Place the filets into a plastic bag. Mix together spicy V8, peppers and seasonings, mix velland pour into bag with jack mack filets. Place bag intohot pot and cook for 1 hour. Cook soups til soft and drain water. Place each soup into separate bowl, put a filet on top of each soup. Pour remaining spicy mix on topof each. Eat with crackers. William Cartwright Huntsville, TX SPICY V8 JACK MACK #2 1 Can of jack mack % Bag of corn chips 1 Sm can of spicy V8 1 Bottle of squeeze cheese 1 Jar of sandwich spread 4 Dry soups (spicy's best) Clean jack mack and can real good. Crumble jack mack up into can with V8. Put can into hotpot or hot vater. Cook for 45 minutes. Cook Soups til soft. Mix V8, jack mack, soups, corn chips, cheese, and sandwich spread (to taste). Serve on bread or tortillas. Chucky Davis Texas City, TX SPICY V8 JACK MACK #3 1 Can of jack mack % Bag of quick rice/5 soups 1 Sm can of spicy V8 1 Pkg of jalapero peppers Ketchup (optional) Hot sauce (optional) Clean mackerel real good. Clean mackerel can real good. Mix up chopped peppers, mackerel, and V8, then pour into the can. Place can in hotpot or boiling water Cook for 45 minutes. Serve with noodles or rice. Jason Johnson Gatesville, TX a1 TAHITIAN TUNA 2 Cans of tuna 1 Can of fruit salad 2 Pkgs of trail mix 1 Jar of salad dressing 1 Bottle of ketchup 1 Jar of mustard 2 Pkgs of jalapeno peppers 1 Loaf of bread 2 Orange Cool-offs 1 Bag of chips (your choice) 3 Spoons of pickle relish 3 Spoons dried bell pepper. 1 Sm chopped onion % Tsp of garlic powder You will need at least two large bowls. In one bowl add 3 spoons salad dressing, 3 spoons ketchup, 1 spoon mustard, (3 spoons relish and % tsp of garlic powder, if available) together and set aside. Drain fruit and squeeze out all juice into cup. Divide juice between 2 cups, add orange Cool-offs and top with water or iceto make Orange Passion Fruit juice drink. In another bowl dice fruit pieces with can 1id. Removeand discard seeds from jalapenos, then dice (removing seeds is optional) Add jalapenos to fruit. (Add the bell pepper and onion to chopped fruit and jalapenos if available.) Blend in the dressing mixture with fruit. Open tuna and squeeze Off vater from can. Mix flaked tuna into fruit mixture Add two packages of trail mix and toss to coat. Serve on bread with chips of choice and Orange Passion Fruit Jjucie drinks. Makes six nice sandwiches. Or enjoy this dish from a bowl with crackers, using only 1 tuna, 1 trail mix, do not dice fruit and cut the dressing re- cipe in half. Nick Aucion The ECHO Newspaper . Huntsville, TX CHILI MACKEREL i Can of jack mack % Bag of corn chips 1 Sm can of chili 1 Bottle of smack cheese 4 Dry soups (your choice) Cook chili in hot pot or very hot water. Clean jack mack real good. Cook the soups until soft. Mix in your chili, crumbled up jack mack, soups, corn chips and the cheese. Mix vell, toss in some hot sauce and serve on tortillas. Add a little sandwich spread to get a zingy taste. Troy Garcia Tenn Colony, TX 44 KITTY KAT CASSEROLE They call it Salmon Casserole, I call it a dish from Hell. Ve get this Stuff all the time, We get tired enough to yell. They say that it's good for you, This healthy food that they serve. But if you tell them what you really think, You'd swear that you had touched a nerve. I just vonder where they find this fish, Is it cat food that "Nine Lives” once trashed? oOr was it found along a river bank, Just to save the state a little cash? It's something special this great dish, That is alvays served to us from a cup. e gag it down and it chures around, And alvays comes back up! By: E. Bachman (Camp Hill) Sibmitted by: Larry Sheesley (Albion) IMroRTINT NOTICE ve Ly INMATE'S REVISED & UPDATED CLASSTFICATION LEVEL'S FOR_STAFE As an employee of the (prison aystem and unit nam) you heve the right to know that you have been classified according Lo the belaw criteria. otttcor. you have been Classified by the inmates of the (unit Tane) and your level is as follove: cHECK oNE ONLY: _ LEVEL) "HILLBIIY- Description: Don't know, don't care. Only interested in the Peycheck. — LEVEL-2 "GCD GLD 8OV Description: Treats inmtes OK. Lets you eat tvice. Giveaout. extra tollet aper. __ LEVEL-3 "REOOP* Description: Aggresaive e attitode. Writes a lot of cases. Wil not rec— omand any imeate for 3 parole. — LEVEL-4 "REINPOK __ Description: Obmamous atbitude. M- vays pleses insates off . Asinine and completely Juvenile bebavior . Often areams of killing the inmtes. EXTRBE RACIST — LEVELS "ACLF WITLER" Description: Belleves that he is Adolf Hitler. Believes (enit name) 1e the Jeu- ish concentration camp at Auschwitz, Troate all inmates as if they vere Jeva. VERY DRGEROS! 1 JAILCELL SPAGHETTI 1 Can of sloppy joe 5 Dry soups (NOT CRUSHED) 1 Bottle of ketchup 1 Sm can of spicy V8 ) Cup of powdered cheese 1 Pkg of jalapeno peppers (from ODR or mac & cheese) Heat sloppy joe. Mix % bottle of ketchup, V8, chop- ped peppers and onion to make spaghetti sauce and then heat. Cook soups until soft. Place soups into a large bowl. Mix sloppy joe and sauce together. Pour over the soups, top with powdered cheese (or cheese sauce). Mix together some Soft butter and garlic powder and spread on slices of bread. Screvball Rosharon, TX SUMMER SAUSAGE SOUP % Summer sausage log 1 Cup of quick rice 4 Dry soups (chili or spicy) 1 Pkg of jalapeno peppers Cook rice and soups. Cut up sausage and chop peppers You can cook sausage or not. Once all the rice & soups are ready, add peppers and sausage. If your ‘commissary has a good selection of different kinds of can goods, there is no limit to what you can add to this recipe. Richard Crowe Joliet, IL HOT CHILI CHI CHI'S 4 Dry soups (your choice) 1 Bag of chili rice 1 Lg bag of cheese curls 2 Long beef sticks (sliced) Place soups, flavor pkgs, crushed cheese curls, beef sticks, and rice in large bowl or back in cheese curls ‘bag. Mix well, add boiling water until mix is just cov ered. Allow to stand until water is soaked upby mixand noodles are soft. Wrap in flour tortillas or place on saltines. You can also use as a dip for tortilla chips Mark Soliday Frackville, PA CHEESEY POTATO CASSEROLE 2 g potatoes 2 Cups of water I Cup of mustard cheese sauce Bring water to a boil. Add thinly sliced potatoes and simmer until tender. Make mustard cheese sauce in 2 bake pan. Add potatoes, mix and bake for 15 minutes Top with sour cream. Mustard cheese sauce page 37. Madison Legno Lowell, FL CREAMY SOUP 6 Cups of water 3 Soups not crushed % Cup of butter/oleo 1 Cup of dry milx % Cup of flour Seasonings to taste Heat water, then add in soups and seasonings. Simmer until noodles are soft. Mix thickener into a pastewith a little bit of vater. Slowly add the paste to thesoup stirring constantly until thick. Add in milk and maybe a little cheese (to taste) last. VEGETABLE BROTH SOUP 6 Cups of water 3 Beef soups not crushed % Cup of oleo/butter Seasonings to taste Heat the water and all soup flavoring pkgs. Add the oleo and soups, simmer until noodles are soft. You can add in vegetables, cheese etc. for different tastes. - Elmore Watkinson Edinburg, TX HAM AND RICE 2 Cups of vater 1 Box of quick rice 1 Can of corn 1 Sm can of chunk ham Cook rice and heat up corn. Wnen both are ready mix together with ham and spices. You can also toss insome mustard to help with the taste. [Ed. NOTE: Try the Mus tard Cheese Sauce with this.] Debbie Croft Brimley, MI 50 CREAMED TUNA WITH NOODLES 4 Dry chicken soups 2 Thsp of margarine 3 Tbsp of flour 6 Tosp of dry milk 1% Cups of water 2 8oz cans of tuna 1 Sweet bell pepper Cook noodles until soft. Add margarine and sauté the pepper over medium heat for about Sminutes. Reduce heat, stir flour into peppers, stirring for a minute. Add the dry milk and water all at once and stir occas- ionally until the mixture begins to bubble and thicken Mix your tuna into the cream sauce in the pan. Serve it over noodles. ITALIAN TURKEY 1 Sveet bell pepper 2 6oz cans of turkey 1 Onion diced small 1 Pkg spaghetti sauce mix % Cup of thick ketchup 1 Tbsp of margarine 2 Cups of water 5 Dry soups uncrushed Bring vater to a boil and add ketchup, sauce mix. onion (to taste) and pepper. Simmer 10 minutes stirring often. Remove from heat, add turkey and cover for 5-10 minutes. Cook noodles until soft. Stir in the butter. Pour turkey sauce over the hot noodles. Sprinkle on some cheese or use cheese sauce. If you can get some mishroons from your chowhall Kitchen, chop some up and toss them in, too. PRISON-MADE CLAM SAUCE FOR PASTA 1 Thsp of dry milk 2 Cloves of garlic 1 Tsp of of mistard 1 6oz can of chopped clams 2 Tsp of flour 1 Tsp of oil 2 Cups of vater 1 Chicken dry soup £1avor pkg Toss clams in with flour, set aside. Heat oil in 2 skillet. Add garlic and sauté for 3 minutes. Stir in soup pkg to make bouillon. Mix milk and mustard, add to bouillon. Add water, stirring often until the sauce is reduced by half. Add clams and heat for about a minute Serve over cooked noodles. Sarah DeLainly Coldwater, ML ENCHILADAS #1 1 Can of chili 1 Can of refried beans 1 Can of roast beef 1 Pkg of jalapeno peppers 1 Bottle of snack cheese 1 Bag jal-pep potato chips 1 Bottle of hot sauce Put half of the chips in a bowl, the other half you need to crush up in the bag. String out the roast beef and mix with the refried beans and a little bit of the cheese. Scoop out dollops of your mix onto some torti- 11as, roll-up into enchiladas, place into potato chip bag and shake up. Now mix the chili, chopped peppers and some more cheese. Put mixture into chip bag, coat- ing the enchiladas. Place the bag into hot-pot or very hot vater and cook for 45 minutes. It'll come out as a big clump of enchiladas. Split bag open, top with more cheese, hot sauce, and chopped up peppers. Pecos Pete Lost In Texas ENCHILADAS #2 2 Cans of meatballs 1 Bag Nacho Cheese Doritos 1 Can of chili no beans 1 Pkg of jalapeno peppers 1 Bottle of snack cheese 1 Pt of milk 1 Tub of picante sauce 1 Pkg of flour tortillas Mix meatballs, crushed Doritos, chopped peppers and half a can of chili together in a large bowl, mix well Add about 1/8 cup of milk and mix well. Lay flour tor- tilla out flat, put approx 3 good spoonfuls of mixture on tortilla and spread partially out. Add a small layer of cheese and a spoon of picante: roll up tight intoan enchilada. Repeat for all. Place enchiladas into empty chip bag and pour in other half of chili all around the enchiladas. Tie bag closed and heat in hotpot for about 2 hours. Remove and put more cheese on top. This works 2alot better if you can get real cheese out of the pri- son kitchen. Sour cream tastes real good with this too Eugene "Turp" Turpin Huntsville, TX 52 ULTIMATE TEXAS SPREAD 1 Can of roast beef 1 Can of EBQ beef 1 Can of Treat (Spam) 1 Can of chili no beans 1 Can of tamales 1 Can of refried beans 3 Pkgs of flour tortillas 3 Pkgs of jalapeno peppers k Bottle of snack cheese % Bag of corn chips 5 Dry soups (spicy'sbest) % Tub of picante sauce 1 Jar of sandwich spread Cook all the can goods at the same time if possible Cook soups until soft. Chop up peppers. When Treatmeat is hot, cut into little pieces. Chop up roast beef til it's stringy looking. Mix all the can goods, and soups together real good. Add in the picante sauce cornchips peppers, and cheese. Again mix everything together vell Scoop out spoonfuls onto tortillas, fold and eat. You can also dip tortilla chips. Throw ina little sandwich spread for a zingy taste. This spread is expensive try to get several people to pitch in a little something and everyone can eat real good. Pato Loco Amarillo, TX CHILI CHEESE MACK 1 Can of chili 1 Box of macaroni & cheese % Bag of corn chips 1 Pkg of jalapeno peppers Heat chili and cook macaroni. When noodles are Soft mix in cheese, chili, peppers, and corn chips to bulk it up. Serve with crackers, tortillas or bread. Richard Crowe Joliet, IL BBQ BEEF MEATBALLS 1 Can of BBQ 1 Bag of potato chips 8 Saltine or Ritz crackers Crush chips and crackers into a large bowl. Add the can of BBQ beef, and mix and mash very well. Make two large packed meatballs and put them into chip bag. Tie closed and heat in hot pot for 1%-2 hours. When done, place in bowl and top with cheese, peppers, etc. GRAND-PAW'S FILET A LA MACKEREL 1 Can of jack mack 1 Chopped pickle 1 Can of quick rice 1 Lg spoonful of mustard 1 Bottle of snack cheese Hot sauce/picante salsa Clean jack mack real good and place in a large bowl Cook rice until soft. Mix everything all together add ing in cheese and hot sauce/salsa to desired taste. GRAND-PAW'S PAN MADE TACOS 2 Cans of refried beans 1 Can of chili no beans 2 Dry spicy soups crushed 1 Sm bag of crushed cheetos 1 Can of roast beef Cook all of the can goods until hot. Cook soups til soft. Mix everything together. Serve on tortillas. GRAND-PAW'S VIENNA SAUSAGES CHOWDOWN 2 Cans of Vienna sausages 1 Chopped pickle 2 Dry spicy soups crushed 1 Can of refried beans 1 Can of lasagna 1 Pkg jal peppers chopped % Bag of corn chips 1 Bottle of snack cheese Cook soups until soft. Cook all can goods until hot Mix everything together. Serve on tortillas Grand-paw Huntsville, TX CHILI CHEESE NACHOS ! Bag of tortilla chips 1 Can of chili no beans 2 Pkgs of jal peppers % Bottle of smack cheese Empty chili into a plastic bag that won't leak. Add cheese in with chili. Place bag in a large butt-can of very hot water and let the chili cheese mixture cook for about 30 minutes. Place the tortilla chips into a bowl standing on their edges. When mixture is hot pour over top of the tortilla chips. Toss on some sliced up peppers and eat. Mule Johnson Indian Town, FL 54 PRISON GLOP #1 4 Cups of water 2 Pkgs of veg soup 1 Can of corned beef Instant potatoes Seasonings to taste Heat water, add soup mix, and cook for about 20 min utes. Turn off heat and add meat. Stir in enough of the potatoes to achieve desired consistency. You can also substitute rice for the potatoes and tuna for the meat PRISON GLOP #2 4 Cups of water 1 Box of macaroni & cheese % Cup of milk 1 Can of chicken or tuna 1 Tosp of butter Seasonings to taste Cook macaroni until soft, drain water. Stir in milk cheese, and chicken or tuna. Chop up Some nuts to toss in for a different taste. Roxanne Sanderson Plymouth, MI POTATO CHEESE SOUP 4 Cups of water 1 Thsp of butter % Cup of instant potatoes % Cup of dry milk 4 Tbsp of flour % Cup of chopped onions Seasonings to taste 1 Cup cheddar cheese chunks Put all ingredients except cheese into cold water. Stir well, bring to a boil while stirring continuously Simmer about 5-10 minutes, and stir from time to time. Remove from heat, add cheese and stir well. COFFEE CAN STEW 3 Crushed soups Stew meat (£rom kitchen) Seasonings of choice Water (as much as needed) Vegetables (£rom kitchen) In a coffee can add chopped vegetables (onions, cel ery, carrots, potatoes, etc.) soups and soup flavoring pkgs, and stew meat to a can Of water. Cook until veg- etables are soft. Add any flavorings you like or that you can get ahold of from the kitchen. Samual K Byrd Eddyville, KY MEXICAN RICE CASSEROLE 1 Cup of rice or grits 1 Can of comn 1 Cup of chopped onions 2 Cups cheddar cheese chunks % Cup of dry milk % Tsp of each, chili powder 3 Cups of vater salt & pepper Cook rice, corn, milk, and spices. Mix ail ingredi- ents. Pour into pan. Cover and warm over low heatuntil the cheese melts. Antonio Vargas Jamestown, CA RICE AND POTATO PATTIES 1 Cup of rice 4 Tbsp of dry mitk 1 Cup of instant potatoes % Cup cheese chunks 2 Thsp of butter 2 Instant soup pkgs Garlic povder, salt & pepper to taste Boil water, milk, and butter. Remove from heat, add cheese, instant potatoes, rice, and soups, then set to the side for about 10 minutes. Spice to taste, form in to patties and fry in butter. [Ed NOTE: Top with brown gravy recipe found on page 37] Wilma Thompson Pembroke Pines, FL SBACKER PIZZA 1 1a tortilla 1 Pxg of pepperoni slices 1 Env spaghetti sauce mix Pineapple slices/chunks Cheese slices Heat tortilla on both sides. Spread on spaghetti- sauce, lay pepperoni slices and pineapple on top and cover with some cheese slices. Top with more pepperoni and pineapple. Continue to heat until cheese is compl- etely melted. Mark Sperbert Frackville, PA 56 DUMPLINGS AND SOUP 1 Cup of flour % cup of dry milk 2 Tsp of baking powder % Tsp of salt 1 Dry soup (any flavor) % Cup of butter % Cup of water Seasonings to taste Mix the flour, dry milk, baking powder, salt and butter together. Add the water slowly into themixture until the batter is stiff but sticky. Cook soup, bring o a boil. Drop spoonfuls of batter into soup andcook until the dumplings are cooked thoroughly about 10min utes. Paul Newcastle Springfield, MO CHEESEY RICE 2 Onions chopped % Cup of bacon bits 2 Cups of hot water 1 Cup of quick rice 1 Tomato sliced 1 Cup of grated cheese or Dash of salt cheese sauce Place a pan on heat. Stir-fry the onions and bacon bits in the pot for a few minutes. Add in the hot vater and rice. Cut up the tomato and add it whenthe riceis cooked. Remove from the heat add salt and top withthe Cheese and any seasonings you like. Leroy Baker Ogdensburg, NY SLOPPY ROAST BEEF TACOS 1 Can of roast beef 1 Can of sloppy joe sauce 2 Dry spicy soups 1 Tub of picante sauce 1 Pickle w/juice 1 Bottle of cheese Cook soups until soft. Heat can goods in hotpot or boiling water. Mix soups, can goods, chopped up pickle pickle juice, then add in picante sauce and the cheese to taste. Serve on tortillas with a cold soda water. Hector G. Lopez Beeville, TX BIG HOUSE STEW #1 3 Cups of water Instant potatoes 1 Can of desired meat Cheddar cheese chunks 1 Spoonful of butter Salt & pepper to taste Heat water. Add potatoes according to package dir- ections in any amount necessary for desired thickness. Add desired quantities of cheese, meat, butter and fla vorings. Chipped beef, roast beef, and summer sausages vorks well with this. Mickey Taylor Dwight, IL BIG HOUSE STEW #2 2 Cups of vater 1 Cup of quick rice 2 Env of veg soup 1 Can of seafood Flavorings to taste Bring water to boil. Add rice, soup and flavorings. Remove from heat. Let it stand about 10 minutes, until rice is tender. Add seafood and stir. Lil' Mike Kennedy Lebanon, OH PEPPI, CHEESE & BEEF CHEE-CHEE'S 1 Pkg of pepperoni slices 2 Dry beef soups 1 Pkg of flour tortillas 1 Hot sauce (to taste) 1 Snack cheese . 2 Summer sausages 1 Bag of potato chips 1 Cup of hot vater In two small bowls, place crushed soups, cook until Soft then drain. Slice sumer sausage logs thinly then cut slices into small pieces. Add beef, crushed chips, seasoning pkgs, cheese and hot sauce to each bowl even 1y then mix well. Take your tortillas and lay them out flat. Spread cheese on one side and place pepperoni on tortillas, fold and eat. Larry Sheesley Albion, PA 58 RICE & BEANS 2 Boxes of rice 1 Bell pepper (chopped) 2 Cans of veg beans 1 1g onion (chopped) 1 Can of crabmeat 3 Cloves garlic (chopped) 1 Can of Spam (chunks) Sauté the pepper, onion and garlic in butter. Slow 1y cook Spam, crabmeat and the corn in the beans. Pour over cooked rice. MUSHROOM CHICKEN 2 Boxes of Ziti 2 Cans of mushroom soup 4 Cans of chicken 1 Pt of milk 1 Lg onion (chopped) 2 Cloves garlic (chopped) 1 Bell pepper (chopped) R Sauté peppers, onions and garlic. Add in the chick en chunks with soup and milk to cooked Ziti. Stir and eat. MEATY ZITI (COLD) 2 Boxes of ziti 2 Soup flavoring pkgs 5 Cans of turkey 1 1g onion (chopped) Mayo (to taste) Cook Ziti. Add everything together. Mix well and . This makes a good "chili". CHEESEY RAT ZITI 2 Cans of spaghetti sauce 4 Cans of chopped ham 2 Boxes of Ziti 1 Pkg of cheese slices 1 Lg onion (chopped) 3 Cloves garlic (chopped) 1 Bell pepper (chopped) sSauté peppers, onions and garlic with the ham. Add into sauce. Add cooked Ziti into gal. sized container Lay on cheese slices over top, nuke it a minute, stir and then add more cheese on top. G. Ramp "Rampage” Bayside State Pen Hammonton, NJ BBQ BEEF SOFT TACOS 1 Can of EBQ beef 1 Bag of flour tortillas 4 Dry soups (your choice) 1 Pkg of jalapeno peppers % Bag of corn chips 1 Bottle of squeeze cheese Cook BBQ and soups. When the BBQ is hot, and soups are soft, drain soups completely then add corn chips, cheese, chopped peppers and mix well. Spoon onto flour tortillas and eat. Kirby Q. Kerney Albion, PA ROAST BEEF TACOS 1 Can of roast beef 1 Chopped onion or peppers 1 Can of refried beans 1 Pkg of tortillas 1 Bottle of smack Cheese 1 Jar of picante sauce Heat roast beef and refried beans. When can goods are hot, empty into two bowls. Chop roast beef up til it's stringy looking. Spoon refried beans and then the roast beef onto tortillas. Top with onions, cheeseand salsa. Danny Ortega Kenedy, TX 60 fes GUNSHOTS AT COFFIELD One night back in 1988, vhile I vas assigned to the Coffield unit of the Texas prison system, I had just dropped in a can of chili and a can of sloppy joe sauce into a gallon sized butt-can, filled the can up with water and dropped in my stinger to cook up a spread for me and my partners there on our cell block. At the same time that I was doing all of this, the block officer was just finishing running a dayroomcall My partner, who lived down the run from me, stopped by my cell and said that I needed to come to the dayroom because of some trouble that was supposed to kick off. Not being the kind of person to let my partners down, 1 very quickly grabbed my shoes and smokes and jumped out the door just as it was closing and forgetting all about the food that was cooking iu Lue back of my cell About 45 minutes later, after the trouble that was supposed to have happened didn't show, my friends and I were sitting at a table in the back of the dayroom laughing, bullshitting, and swapping lies with each other, when all of a sudden we heard what sounded like a small caliber "gunshot" (I was living close to the dayroom so the noise was really loud). A second later there was another “gunshot" sound. Everyone in the day room was at the dayroom bars trying to look down the run and wondering just what the noise had been. At about this same time, people in their cellsstart ed complaining about the electricity being off. Sudden 1y remembering about the can goods cooking in my cell, I started to get a real bad feeling in my stomach and was pretty sure what the noise had been. Yelling for the block officer and getting him to come up to the day room, I explained what I thought had happened. He just looked at me as if I were completely stupid and opened the dayroom door. T ran down the run to my cell and I Jjust stood there looking in and not really believeing what I was seeing. The water in the buttcan had boiled down and the cans had exploded from the intense, pro- longed heat of the boiling water. There was chili and sloppy joe all over everything. The walls were smeared with lines of grease where the stuff had splattered on 62 to the walls, and then run down to the floor. The very worst part of the whole thing was seeing my cellie's brand new $200 typewriter that he'd had to get special permission from the varden to have sent in from the world, sitting on his bunk completely covered ingrease It took me two days of hard scrubbing and cleaning, using hot soapy vater, to get the cell and everything else in the cell cleaned up. It also cost me $100 to have my cellie's typewriter sent out and professionally Cleaned and to make sure that the grease hadn't hurt the electronics in any way, and then have it shipped back into the prison. Never again have I ever forgotten to unplug either my stinger or hotpot when leaving the cell! , Steven Bomber Huntsville, TX &2 RODENT STEW #1 2 Good sized rodents Vegetables chopped up 2 Cups of water Seasonings to taste Skin and de-gut rodents. Cut rodent meat into small pieces. Don't worry about the bones, most are too tiny to get completely out. Chop up vegetables, use potatoes carrots and onions for sure, plus whatever else youcan "borrow” from the kitchen. Put meat, vegetables and the seasonings into a large pan filled with water and let it slow cook for several hours. RODENT STEW #2 2 1g rodents 1 Glob of butter or oil 1 Cup of flour Water as mich as needed 1 Tsp of salt Vegetables chopped up % Tsp of pepper Seasonings to taste Skin and clean rodents (squirrels, groundhogs etc.) Cut into quarters. Mix together salt, pepper and flour Foll meat in mixture. Heat butter or oil in cookingpot and brown pieces of meat on both sides. As soon as the meat is brown, cover with vater and add in vegetables and seasonings to taste. Simmer for about 1 hours. Be sure to check liquid occasionally and add more water if needed. STEWED RODENT IN FOIL 1 Good sized rodent 16 Bacon strips Seasonings to taste Sm vegetable pieces Completely skin and clean rodent. Cut the body into 2 portions. Season meat to taste. Wrap 8 strips of the bacon around each piece of meat. Wrap the meat and the vegetables in foil. Crimp the edges of the foil toseal completely. Cook until the meat falls Off of the bone. This should really be done in an oven but you canusea one burner stove of some kind and a covered cooking pot You can also cook game birds such as grouse and pheas- ant in the same manner, you can even use a pigeon in a pinch! You can also substitute rabbit for all of these recipes (or whatever you can catch in the fields!). KERMIT'S LEGS 8 Lg frog legs 3-4 inches 1 Cup of flour 1 Sm onion diced 1 Can of condensed milk Butter/oil for frying Salt & pepper to taste Garlic powder to taste Chili powder to taste Catch four large bullfrogs in the fields. Cut legs Off and sneak them in. Wash well. Place flour in bowl with garlic, salt & pepper, and chili powder. You will need access to a stove or hotplate. Place £rying panon stove/hotplate, fill § way with butter. Put in diced onion. Dip legs into milk and roll in the flour mixture Place into butter and cook each side of leg for 20 min utes. Bust open a bag of potato chips and pop open an ice cold soda. Raron Thibodaux Angola, LA PUERTO RICAN PIGEON SOUP 1 Ib of skinned & deboned 2 Tsp of chili powder pigeon meat; cubed 1 Tsp of garlic powder 1 Cup of chopped green or 2 ldoz cans of chickenbroth sweet red peppers 1 Cup of corn (fromkitchen) 1 Cup of cooked rice Cooking oil Coat a large saucepan with oil and heat over medium heat for 1 minute. Add pigeon, pepper, garlic powder, chili powder, and cook for 3-5 minutes, stirring often Add broth, corn and rice. Heat to a boil. Reduce heat to low. Cook for 10-15 minutes. Serve with flour tor- tillas used for dipping. NOTE: If you are not able to catch any pigeons (or they have already beenused up you can use chicken instead!) You can use chicken fla- vored dry soup seasoning packs to make the broth. Maria Saavedra Framingham, MA 68 A GLOSSARY OF PRISON SLANG WORDS AND COMMONLY HEARD PHRASES Ace Duce, Road Dog- A prisoner's best friend in prison Alan Dershowitz, F. Lee Bailey- What a white jailhouse lawyer is called in prison. All Day- A life sentence. ALl Timer - Someone serving a life sentence. Armor, Knightsuit - Body armor made of magazines that is tied or taped to the body in order to help pro- tect a person in a fight, usually from a weapon. Arnold, Buffed, Hercules- A muscular person. Backdoor Someone - To hit someone fram behind when they don't expect it. . Big House, Gray Bar Hotel, Iron Ghetto, Joint- Prison Blanket Party- To throw a blanket over someone to keep them from identifying their attackers. Blind- A blind spot anywhere the guards are unable to see vhat is going on. Boneyard - An area set aside for conjugal visits. Bonin' A Motherfucker - To con, trick, or to otherwise fuck over someone. Boonsfarm, Chalk, Hooch, Prumo, Raisin Jack - Homemade wine. Boss, Bull, Screw- A prison guard. Box, Dungeon, Hole, Well- Solitary confinement. Break Me Off Scmething - To ask for something. Brick- A carton of cigarettes. Bubble, Cage- A plexiglass or heavy wiremesh enclosed guard station. Bus Therapy, Diesel Therapy- A practice of constantly transferring prisoners by bus from one unit to an- other, usually done to jailhouse lawyers/writ writ- ers who cause problems for the prison system. Cadillac- The best of anything: cell, food, job, etc. [ Candy, Fish, Newboot -A new prisoner. Catch The Square -To step into an open area to fight. Charge Up -To confront or accuse someone of something usually just before a fight. Checkin' - To fight someone to see if they will fight back. To see if they will stand their ground. Chester - A child molester. Cho Cho Bar -Any kind of ice cream bar. Click Up-To join a gang. Convict - Someone who knows how to do their time. Corner - Areas of the dayroom or yard divided by race or gang affiliation. Correctional Cocktail -A mixture of bodily fluids and wastes (blood, feces, urine, saliva, and semen). Crew - A group of people, not necessarily a gang, i.e. the weight 1ifting team is the "Iron Crew". Crib, Dog House, House - Cell. Cut Up, Razorblade Holder, Swinger -A suicide. Daddy - A homosexual's protector. Date - A prisoner's release date. Dead Man Walkin' - A death row prisoner. Deck Of Squares -A pack of cigarettes. Do Your Own Time -Mind your own business. Doing Life On The Installment Plan -A prisoner who is 2 habitual repeat offender. Drop A Dime, Whisperin' In The Man's Ear - Snitching. Dump Truck - A lawyer who sells out his client, or is incompetent out of ignorance. Fall Partner - Co-defendant of the same crime. Featherwood - A white female prisoner. Folgers - Refers to any coffee, not just to Folgers. Freepass -When a guard lets a prisoner get away with something that would normally result in a write up 70 Freeworld, Street, World -The world outside of prison Get 'Cho Bang On, Get 'Cho Paper -Take care of busi- ness, handle up, fight, exercise (this phrase has several meanings depending on where you are andwhat you are doing at the time). Gettin' Rec -To fight for no reason other than to fight Gettin' Short, Shorty - Someone close to being released Girl, Kid, Punk - Homosexual. Gladiator -A prisoner, usually a youngster, who fights all the time to prove his manhood or justtohave fun Gladiator Fights - Fights that are staged by guards for their enjoyment. Go Blow Your Nose -To tell someone to get out of your business. * Goin' To The 7-11 -Going to the prison commissary. Goon Squad - A squad of officers who handles riots, or other disturbances. Sometimes refered to as the SORT team. Special Operations Response Team. Hack - Horse's Ass Carrying Keys. Hidin' In The Cage - An officer who hides in the secu- rity picket during trouble, or a prisoner who hides in his cell during trouble. High Cappin’ - Bragging. Hittin' The Fence -To escape. Homeboy, Homie - Usually refers to someone from your hometown. Can also mean someone from the same crew Ink, Tack, Tat -Tattoos. Inmate - Someone, usually a first timer, who doesn't now how to do their time, or how the prison system works. Someone who isn't schooled in convict rules. Ironpile, Ironpit -Weights used for exercise. Jacket - Reputation. Jackin' -To steal something, usually by force. Jailhouse Lawyer, Writ Writer ~A prisoner who studies 71 the law and helps other prisoners with their cases, or helps others fight the prison system. Johnny Cochran -What a black jailhouse lavyer iscalled Kite - Letter or note. Kojaks - Tootsie pops. Last Walk, Long Walk, Walkin' The Mile - Death row pri soner walking to the death chamber. Lil' Bossman -A prisoner who acts like a prison guard Lockdown - Confinement to cells, usually during an em- ergency or other disturbances. Mark, Trick - Someone who is easy to con. Matchbox - The amount of marijuna that will fit inside a matchbox. Maytag - Someone, usually a punk, who washes other peo ple's clothes to make money. Mud - Coffee. P.C. - Protective Custody. Pay Rent, Ridin' -To pay protection or to be underthe protection of another. Peckerwood, Wood -A white male prisoner. PHU - Protective Housing Unit. Where P.C. prisonersare housed. Pigeon, Rat, Snitch-An informant. Playing On Ass - Gambling with no money. Politician, Puppet Master - Someone who has the conne- ctions or can pull strings to get something done. Postal, Wacked Out - Crazy. Pull A Card -To find out information about someone. Racktime - Time when prisoners are locked in theircells Rest Your Neck - Shut up. Ridin' The Rack - Sitting or laying on your bunk. Robocop - An officer who goes strictly by the book and usually writes alot of disciplinary cases. 72 Run A Line - To move something on a line such as maga- zines, kites, etc., from one cell to another. The line is made out of tnread twisted and tied together Running Court - When a prisoner breaks a convict rule, his own people (race or gang) will discipline him. Rustler- A scavenger. Schooled - A prisoner who has been taught the rules of prison life or of the gang that they belong to. Seven Eleven, Stop n Go- The prison commissary. Shank, Steel- A veapon, usually a sharpened steel rod or homemade knife. Shit 'Em Down- To throw a correcticnal cocktailon an- other person. Shootin' The Front Door - Sameone leaving prisonby the front door after being released. Shot Of Dope- A cup of coffee, or enough coffes for a cup. Shot, Ticket, Write Up- A disciplinary report. Split His Wig Open-To hit someone in the head so hard that it splits their head open. Spread- A meal made from commissary food ina person's cell. Spread Your Hustle- Don't borrow from the same people all of the time. Square - A cigarette or joint. Stand Up Guy, Stay Down Guy - A prisoner whowill fight back and can be depended on by his partners. Starch n Irons- A prisoner's best clothes, usually re served for visits. Stingers - An immersion heater used to heat up water. Tack Head - A tattoo artist or a person who hasalot of tattoos. Talkin' Out The Side Of Your Neck - Lying/bullshitting That's Dead - No. That's Lame - No Good. That's bullshit. ERY That's Straight - Yes. The Green Room- Death chamber. A lot of prison death chanbers are painted green, such as the one inTexas The Shoe (SHU) - Security Housing Unit. Tumn Out - To rape another prisoner. ‘Walkin' Papers - Release papers. Wham Wnams - Cookies. White Boy- A derogatory temm for a white prisoner. 200 2008 - Any kind of candy, usually a hardcandy such as Jolly Ranchers. This is just a small selection of the prison slang words and phrases that you might hear in any prison. Some might be heard nationally, whereas others might only be regional or even just local. Likeany language it is constantly changing and evolving. Some of these words may have different meanings in other states, or they might not even be used at all. Some of them may even be out of date by the time you read this. 74 PN MERTURNDISE profibe from merohandise sales go to ku,“ohhq“umfloobm All books are $10 2nd $2 shipping for first TR books add €1 esoh book aftec obeaper than yov will find ab any oorporate ohain sbore.). Stiokers are §1 e2oh. Send well concealed oash, oheok, or monsy order C made payable bo Books for Prisoners). WO TR TG The Black Panthers speak. No thore prisons By Phillp S. Foner By Wiliam Upski Wimsort RECIPES PROM INSIDE THE BIG HOUSE These recipes vere sutmitted by prisoners from a1l across America, sc now all of you freewor £olks can eat the same vay that prisoners fror a1l across the-country do everyday! This 500k has just sbout every kind of recipe that scmecne might vant, from breakfast to those ecessary late snacks and even scme stuff t you might not believe! LOOK AT WHAT IS INCLUDED *Breakfast *Beverages *Snacks & Treats »ain Meals - *Gravies & Sauces *Tuna & Mackerel *Strange and Unusual Stuff uded is a glossary of prison that all of you freeworid people can talk just tike a real convict vhile you chow down on ai P ite prison spreads. ALL PROCEADS 60 TO SUPPORT PANS BOOKS 4 PRISONERS PROGRAM. THE PURCHASE OF THIS ZINE WILL PAY FOR 1 PRISONER BOOK PACKAGE. -THAUK Y04/